


Twice Saved

by Zoi no miko (zoi_no_miko)



Category: Flatliners (1990)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Yuleporn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2015-11-30
Packaged: 2018-05-04 02:30:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5317157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoi_no_miko/pseuds/Zoi%20no%20miko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nearly dying, they say, changed a man. Or in their case, actually dying. Or in Nelson's case, dying twice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Twice Saved

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Calacious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calacious/gifts).



Nearly dying, they say, changed a man. Or in their case, actually dying. Or in Nelson's case, dying twice.

It was impossible for Dave not to notice how, underneath the quiet resignation and bone-weariness in Nelson's eyes, there was a hint of vulnerable tranquility he'd never noticed before. It was strange, when Nelson had always been a bit pompous and proud around him, all spitfire and swagger. But, considering what he'd discovered of his friend during that last terrible experiment, perhaps that had only been a front. Perhaps what he was seeing now, this softer, vulnerable Nelson, was the true Nelson. Perhaps he'd finally get to know that him, with his layers stripped away. The real Nelson laid bare.

But somehow he still managed to be a stubborn asshole.

"Hospital," Rachel repeated again, lips set in a firm line. "Don't be an idiot, Nelson. You flatlined for twelve and a half minutes. The possibility of brain damage - "

"If I've suffered brain damage it's not exactly reversible." A hint of a smirk - Nelson seemed irritatingly logical about the whole thing.

"God, Nelson, you know what I mean. There's a hundred other complications that could arise. Just because we brought you back doesn't mean you've got off scot free. Arrhythmia. Tachycardia. Fluid retention. You could go into Cardiogenic shock."

"I'm fine, Rachel." Still pale, and wrapped in his coat and a cocoon of rough army blankets from Dave's truck, Nelson looked anything but.

Dave didn't think he'd ever seen Rachel more exasperated. "Do you really want to take that gamble with your life _again_?" She looked around at the rest of them angrily. "A little support, guys?"

"She's probably right," Hurly admitted, and Nelson gave a tired sigh.

"Do any you actually want to have an emergency room doctor looking into why an otherwise healthy man in his twenties suffered a catastrophic heart attack?"

"You _are_ a chain smoker," Steckle pointed out, which earned him a shadowed glare.

"Then explain how you conveniently had a full array of resuscitation tools at your disposal."

Rachel visibly deflated. "We don't have to say anything...." she tried weakly.

"And I'm sure the burns on my chest from the defibrillators are going to keep completely silent." That was more the old, sarcastic Nelson, though Dave couldn't help but hear how his voice had thickened with fatigue. Then Nelson glanced over to him, a quiet, bone-weary pleading in his eyes. It gave Dave the impression that he was using his last bit of energy, holding together this front with quickly fraying threads, and he felt a pang of sympathy. 

After the day he'd had... Between seeing Winnie again, Rachel's freak out and, god, almost losing Nelson, Dave felt raw. Flayed to the bone exhausted. Vulnerable and stripped bare. How much more terrible must Nelson feel? The last thing he wanted was to force him to hold himself together for a minute longer than necessary... or to break down in front of the others.

Dave pushed past Rachel to round the gurney, unplugging the heart rate monitor that had been reassuringly beeping along since Nelson's resuscitation, pulling it off the cart. "Leave those on," he ordered as Nelson opened the cape of blankets to reach for the electrodes still stuck to his skin. "I'm taking you back to your apartment and I'm bringing this with me. You don't want to go to the hospital? Fine. But there's no way you're spending the next twenty-four hours unsupervised."

Nelson gave a soft, weary groan. "Dave...."

"Don't 'Dave' me." Dave touched his arm. "You have two choices. Me or the hospital. Pick one."

Nelson's blue eyes flicked up to his, and for a brief moment Dave thought he looked almost... afraid? But that was ridiculous. Why would Nelson ever be afraid of him?

"Fine," his friend replied finally, wearily. "Let's go."

Nelson was silent during the drive back to his friend's apartment, looking very small in his nest of blankets in Dave's front seat, the silent heart rate monitor clutched in his hands, half-buried in blankets. Finally, as Dave parked, he spoke. "I can monitor myself."

Dave sighed, taking the keys out of the ignition and turning to face him. "Look, Nelson. You need sleep. You sleep, I'll keep an eye on you. Okay?"

"You gonna stay up all night and watch me sleep like some pervert?" Nelson's smirk was visibly forced, voice shaking with weariness, and before Dave could stop himself he was leaning closer, covering Nelson's hand where it sat on top of the monitor.

"You know you don't have to act this way around me, don't you?" he said gently, and when Nelson's eyes flicked to his, he saw that same flash of fear, and felt his heart ache with it. "Nelson... I'm not going to judge you."

His friend swallowed visibly. "You have a lot to judge me for," he murmured, mouth twisting as he looked away.

"Come on, Nelson. You came all the way out to see Winnie Hicks with me. You saw me like that. How am I going to judge you for anything?"

Nelson's soft, choked laugh sounds more like a sob. "It's not exactly the same. You... don't know what I did."

Dave felt anxiety twist at his stomach, unsure of how to proceed. The last thing that he wanted was to further damage the fragile trust he'd built with his friend. But he knew Nelson. Knew that he'd have to push him, at least a little bit, to get anywhere.

"I know you took Joe and Steckle to Billy Mahoney's grave," he said softly, finally. "And I know that you almost died tonight trying to make restitution. If you don't want to say anything else, then that's all I need to know. If you want to talk, I'm fine with that too. Whichever you choose I'm still not going to judge you."

Nelson's shoulders seemed to slump at his words. He closed his eyes, a long, sighed breath escaping his lips, and said nothing.

Nothing was good enough for now. Dave gave his hand a squeeze, then pulled away, getting out of the truck and rounding it to open the passenger's side door. "Come on," he said gently, holding out his hands for the monitor. "Let's get you inside. Alright?"

For a long moment Nelson just looked at him. Then he handed the monitor over and slid out of the truck, quietly leading Dave into the building and up to his apartment.

Following him inside, Dave felt slightly awkward. It was easier to keep himself busy, so he shrugged out of his coat and set up the monitor on a chair by Nelson's bed, turning the thermostat up a degree, while Nelson watched him silently through quiet eyes. Finally Dave turned back to him. "How are you feeling? Lightheaded? You hungry?"

Nelson gave a little shake of his head. "Just tired," he murmured, not quite looking at him. "Honestly... I'd prefer just to hermit myself away for a few days. Alone."

"Well, if you're ship shape this time tomorrow you can kick me out. Until then, you're stuck with me. You want to crash now, or sit for a bit?"

Nelson's lips pursed in a hint of annoyance, silently considering. Then he glanced up at him with a small smirk. "I suppose a cup of coffee's out of the question, Doctor Davey?"

"After what we pumped into you? Completely, unless you have decaf."

A snort. "I find that shit personally offensive."

Dave chuckled despite himself. "Tea, then? You have any camomile?"

"Somewhere, probably." Nelson started towards the kitchen, but once they reached it, Dave nudged him in the direction of the table.

"Sit, before you fall over. Tell me where to look. You have a kettle?" He didn't, but it didn't take long to boil water in a pot, ladling it into mismatched mugs. Camomile was a no go, too, but he did find a battered box of mint. He placed a mug on the kitchen table in front of Nelson, then pulled out the chair beside him and sat down beside him with his own. He could just smell the tea, the scent hanging over the table as it steeped, sweet and reassuring.

Nelson wrapped his hands around the mug and stared down at it, blinking sleepily. He finally took a small sip, then set it back down on the table, hunching over, burrowing deeper into Dave's blankets like some kind of protective overshell. "... I killed him."

Dave's first instinct was to argue his words, then to try and reassure him. It took effort to bite his tongue and listen.

"I was responsible, I mean. The other guys were just following my lead. That's why he came after me. He wanted me to experience what he did. That... intense, bone-chilling fear. The pain." Nelson's voice was calm and flat as he spoke, though a tone lower than what Dave was so accustomed to. He could hear it burr in the back of Nelson's throat, a hint of emotion, repressed.

"What happened?" He asked finally, softly.

Nelson sniffed, reaching a hand up to rub his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I picked on him. Bullied him. I was _that_ kid. He was smaller than everybody else, quiet... easy target for assholes. Chased him up a tree one day, me and these other boys. He was so fucking scared of what we'd do to him that he just kept climbing. He.... came down the hard way."

For a long moment Nelson's words hung heavily in the silence between them, and Dave mulled the full extent of his friend's secret over in his mind. The guilt he still felt was obviously enormous if it was enough to make him hurt himself like he had, make him almost kill himself for good. Every part of Dave still wanted to reassure him. To tell Nelson it wasn't his fault. That he'd never intended the death, that everyone makes mistakes. 

But it wasn't what he needed.

Slowly Dave reached a hand out to cover Nelson's where it sat on the table, his skin reassuringly warm. He felt it twitch and tense underneath his touch for a moment, as if to pull away, and Dave squeezed it gently. "Can you finally forgive yourself for it, now? After tonight?"

Nelson gave a soft, mirthless laugh. "I don't think it's something that should be forgiven. I was an asshole then. I'm still an asshole, roping and threatening you all into doing this."

"It was our choice to participate," Dave argued, but Nelson snorted.

"In the end. But I got you there." Nelson leaned forward over the table, resting his forearms on it as he cupped his hands around his mug. "I knew how to push your buttons," he muttered into the steam. " What to say to Joe and Steckle. What would get Rachel there. And I knew your hero complex wouldn't let you step away if there was a chance we might actually get ourselves killed."

Dave's tea still sat untouched on the table. He stared down at the tea bag floating limply in the darkening liquid. "... I guess you and I aren't all that different, then."

Nelson turned his head to look at him. "... you saw Winnie this afternoon. Alive. Doing well."

Dave nodded slowly. Despite Winnie's acceptance of his apology, it was hard to force himself to talk about that time. His nerves still felt scraped raw, and he wondered if the relief of having Nelson back would ever overcome the echoes the of panic and devastation he'd felt that evening. What could have been. What almost was. "She could have just as easily not been alive and well. She could have run out of the school yard to get away from us. Could have been hit by a car. Could have succumbed to depression as an adult. Regardless of the consequences, my actions, my intentions were still the same as yours. Hurt someone else to make myself feel bigger. Cover up my own insecurities and secrets."

One corner of Nelson's mouth twitched up into a wry smile. "Hard to imagine you hurting anyone."

Dave snorted. "Yeah well... figured I should make up for it somehow. It feels fake, though. It's what I want people to believe, that I'm this... noble, driven... you know. It's always felt fake. Just kept doing it because I was afraid to let anyone else see...."

When he chanced to glance over at Nelson, something in his friend's weary blue eyes was suddenly so sympathetic, so completely understanding that Dave felt the words bubble up and spill from his lips, broken free from where they'd been locked away for so long.

"It's a front, because I feel like a freak. Bullying Winnie was a front then, too. I never felt like the other kids, was always so afraid that someone would find out, somehow. If I picked on her it diverted their attention, so they'd never see, never find out my secret. I always felt so guilty for it, but I just... didn't know what else to do." He could hear how pleading his words had become, hear the tremor in him, every inch of his being aching for Nelson to somehow understand everything. "Now I play the hero to cover for both those things. The asshole I pretended to be then. Who I really am underneath."

Nelson glanced at Dave's hand where it still covered his, and Dave realized how tightly he was squeezing it. He released it, but before he could pull it away Nelson had turned his hand over to return the clasp, lacing fingers with Dave's.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I know you made restitution today. That's enough for me," Nelson said softly, echoing Dave's words to him from earlier. Dave wondered whether or not it was intentional. "But... I won't judge you."

"You might."

"After all this?" Nelson gave the smallest shake of his head, holding his gaze. "No, Dave. I won't. I never would have."

Nelson's eyes were too kind, his expression too open. Too real, too vulnerable. It was hard to look at, not with the weight of his past screaming inside him, trying to push its way free. Dave closed his eyes for a long moment, taking a deep breath to try and calm himself.

His every instinct was to clamp down on it. To keep hiding it, denying it like he always had. To keep up that front. But how could he shut him out, after Nelson had trusted him enough to open up to him? Maybe this was what he really needed to take from this whole ordeal. What he needed to be able to finally live at peace with himself.

He opened his eyes and stared at their joined hands, wishing now that he hadn't instigated the contact. But he couldn't pull away. Dave swallowed hard.

"Women," he forced out finally, his voice a soft rasp, broken even to his own ears. "I've never... it's always been fake. I've known since I was a kid. Never been attracted to a woman."

He expected Nelson to pull away, to recoil in disgust. Instead he heard a single, hard breath, as if Nelson had been holding it, and out of the corner of his eye he saw his friend's shoulders drop. Finally he dared to look over at him, finding not the disgust he'd so feared, but Nelson's lips pressed firmly together, eyes bright with sudden tears. His lips twitched, forced a small, trembling smile. "... yeah?"

Dave nodded, and Nelson mirrored him, his breath catching on what could have been a laugh as easily as a sob. "Me too," he whispered, hand tightening on Dave's. "Me too, Dave."

The knowledge hit him like a blow, like every bit of air had been forced from his body. He gasped to try and regain it, everything around him suddenly too bright, too intense. He couldn't focus, couldn't get enough air, he couldn't - 

Then Nelson's other hand cupped his face, voice low and soft. "Slow down, Dave. You're hyperventilating. Breathe slow. In, two, three four.... Out, two three four, five. Again, two, three, four, five. Out....four five six."

Dave closed his eyes. Focused on his words. On the warmth of Nelson's hand on his cheek. On their hands, still joined, dropped to rest on his knee. He felt the trembling turmoil of emotion at his core start to calm. But his admission had broken the dam, and before he knew it the words were tumbling out again, his eyes clenched shut, fearful to see their effect.

"It's why I did this. All of this. Because it was you, Nelson. Because you asked me to help you. I'm sorry. I couldn't run the risk, I - I couldn't stand the thought, I was so afraid of losing you...."

He heard Nelson exhale, soft and shuddering. Then he pressed closer instead of pulling away, fingers sliding up into his hair, his voice a small, incredulous moan. "Oh, David...."

 _Open your eyes, you coward,_ Dave commanded himself. _Look at him. Look at him!_ And he was so focused on that that he barely registered the soft huff of Nelson's breath against his jaw. Then he felt the gentle press of his lips, warm and trembling, as they brushed the corner of his mouth. 

His eyes flew open, meeting the uncertain vulnerability of his friend's gaze. Before he could think, he was returning that caress, lips finding Nelson's with a soft, trembling gasp. He turned into him, reached up to slide a hand around the back of Nelson's neck, tugging him closer, arching closer, trembling in incredulous disbelief but still wanting nothing but _this._

"You're so much braver than I," Nelson whispered against his lips, which was such a ridiculous thought that Dave couldn't help but give a barked laugh.

He shook his head slightly, fingers curling in the hair at the back of Nelson's neck. "No. Not at all. I just couldn't lose you. I can't lose you, Nelson."

"I don't want to pretend anymore." Nelson's breath caught, the words soft, trembling, suddenly spilling free like Dave's were. "I don't want to keep forcing myself to be this person I hate. I don't want to be that guy with a sham marriage who's so tortured that he finally cheats on his wife with some rent boy in an alley, I...." He blinked hard, two tears escaping to wind down his face. "David. Don't leave me."

"I won't," he breathed. It felt surreal to even be having this conversation, yet another impossibility added to the multitude of things that had happened during the day. Too unbelievable, too beautiful that Nelson could possibly share his feelings, and after everything that had happened, how could he deserve this? All he could do was lean in and kiss Nelson again, whispering promises against his lips. "I won't, I won't. I promise. I need you too bad. Couldn't ever imagine leaving... oh god, Nelson...."

Nelson smiled against his lips, small and trembling, then drew back to look at him. His fingers slid from Dave's hair to trace the line of his jaw, incredulous. Wondering. Echoing Dave's insecurities as if he was reading his mind. "Do we deserve this? How can I deserve you? After everything...."

Dave swallowed, shook his head. "Maybe it's not about karma. Maybe it is. I don't know. It probably won't be easy. Am I worth it?"

Nelson nodded without hesitation. "Yeah. Having you is worth whatever happens, David. Not having to pretend anymore..." He let out a long breath, and when he smiled again Dave could see a kind of peace come over him, shining bright and warm.

It reassured him in a way that none of his internal arguments could. Dave smiled, lifting Nelson's hand to his lips and pressing a kiss to his knuckles. "Whatever happens, we'll face it. One day at a time. Wherever life takes us."

Nelson nodded, still smiling. Then his eyes dropped to their joined hands, hesitating for a long moment. "Dave... please stay with me. Just to sleep. I... I don't even know where to start with anything else, I... I just don't want to be alone right now."

"I wouldn't dream of leaving," Dave replied, and received another of those beautiful, wondering smiles in return.

They both stood, Nelson finally shedding those blankets. Left in nothing but scrub pants and his battered trenchcoat, he looked both more fragile and somehow more alluring than ever. Dave couldn't help but pull him closer, sliding his arms around Nelson's waist, needing to reassure himself with the feel of Nelson's body in his arms, warm and real. Alive. Nelson gave a soft, approving hum and pressed closer, stroking his hands up Dave's chest to rest on his shoulders, turning his face up for another soft kiss.

As he pressed closer, though, he gave a sudden hiss and flinched back. Dave felt a soft spike of panic. "Are you okay? Your heart - "

"It's fine, it's fine. I'm just sore." Nelson gave a soft, defeated laugh. "I hurt everywhere."

"I'd apologize if it wasn't... you know. Necessary." Dave carefully opened one side of his trenchcoat, giving a little pained moan at the angry red marks blooming on his chest and stomach from repeated use of the paddles. He leaned in to examine it carefully. "Think it's just first degree. Might blister, though. You have any aloe vera? Tylenol?"

Nelson nodded, and Dave followed him into his bathroom. He washed his hands as Nelson opened the bottle of Tylenol and knocked back two pills. He grabbed the aloe vera from the medicine cabinet before Nelson could. "Go sit, take off your coat. I'll take care of you."

Nelson made no move to return to the kitchen, though, heading into his bedroom instead. He slipped out of his trenchcoat and then ripped remains of his shirt, perching on the side of his bed and watching quietly as Dave followed him. Dave sat beside him, squeezing an ample amount of the gel on his fingers. Trying to be as careful as possible, he lifted his fingers to smooth it over the angry red mark on Nelson's chest.

Nelson jerked tense, giving a soft grunt of pain, and Dave felt a surge of guilt. "Sorry, sorry. I'll be as gentle as I can...."

"It's fine," Nelson replied, shaking his head. "I'm okay. It's just cold. Thank you." He calmed a little as Dave slowly smoothed the gel over the angry red mark on his chest, fingers stroking small circles over his skin. then he leaned back on his arms on the bed and Dave moved his hand lower, attending to the burn near his abdomen.

It was hard not to look, though, with Nelson stretched out under him like this. He obviously took care of his body, despite his unhealthier habits. It was hard not to think about the smooth, warm glide of his skin under Dave's fingertips, about how thin those scrubs must be or how easy it would be to loosen them, tug them down to see more of his skin. To see if reality matched the few carnal, furtive imaginings he'd guiltily had in the past.

Nelson's stomach flinched under his fingers, and Dave forced his gaze back up to his face. "Sorry. Does that feel better?"

Instead of answering, he watched the tip of Nelson's tongue dart out to wet his lips, completely destroying all Dave's attempts to push way his inappropriate thoughts. "It feels really good," he murmured, soft and husky, and all Dave could do at that was lean in and kiss him again.

Nelson gave a soft whimper, lips parting under his, arching closer without hesitation. It was an easy invitation for Dave to take, careful of his burns as he slid a hand around his waist, pulling him close. He gave a soft moan as he caught Nelson's lower lip between his, sucking and nibbling gently at the soft, lush flesh, then delving deeper, running his tongue along the edge of his lip and flicking inside.

He felt Nelson's fingers tangle in his hair, fingers digging into his skull, a whine escaping his throat that was so unquestionably needy that Dave felt his cock jerk with want, pushing all sensible thoughts from his mind. How could he think about anything but the warmth of Nelson's body in his arms, the desperate, trembling hunger in his kisses? 

It made his head spin, but for the first time Dave felt like he didn't have to think about this. Didn't have to plan and worry about whether or not he was displaying the right amount of desire, whether he'd be able to work his body into the passion needed to perform. There were no expectations, no front to keep up. Nothing but the instinctive need to keep Nelson close, to feel him gasp against his lips in desire. Before he knew it he was urging his friend down under him on the bed. Following him down, lips barely breaking from the intoxication of his kisses. Then Nelson's breath caught in a grunt of unmistakable pain, and Dave jerked back. "Shit, I'm sorry - "

"It's fine, it's fine - " Nelson tried to tug him back down, but Dave pulled away all together.

"No, no. Jesus. What am I doing? You must have cracked ribs, I can't - "

"You wouldn't have been doing it right if I didn't," Nelson replied, with infuriating logic. He gave another grunt of discomfort as he sat up, but reached out to take Dave's hand with his. "I'll be fine."

"You were dead," Dave replied, frowning. He forced himself to look at Nelson with analytical eyes - skin flushed, breathing elevated. Pupils blown wide in the darkness of his room. Was it just from desire, or should he be worried? "I didn't save you just to kill you again. How's your heart?"

Nelson's lips stretched into a wry smile. "Flutters every time you touch me."

"That's not a good sign. Where's your scope?"

"You know that's not what I meant. David...." He gave a soft groan as Dave got up. "Come on...."

"Where?" Dave asked again, and Nelson let out a long breath, rolling his eyes.

"Desk. Top drawer."

Dave looped it around his neck, pulling down his t-shirt to rub the cold metal diaphragm against his own skin. "Sorry," he murmured, sitting back down beside him. He pressed his palms to the bottom of Nelson's chest, moving carefully over his rib cage, trying to reassure himself with touch that nothing was out of place. Then he tucked the eartips into his ears. Pressing the diaphragm carefully over his aortic artery and letting the thrum of Nelson's heartbeat reassure him, elevated but strong. The smooth, even rush of his breath, without any of the worrying whistle that might indicate a punctured lung. 

He let out a soft breath that he hadn't realized he was holding, and as he moved the chestpiece to rest over the pulmonic, Nelson found his free hand on the bed, curling his fingers around him as he leaned into him. Instinctively Dave leaned closer, letting his forehead against Nelson's, closing his eyes.

For a long moment he let himself stop thinking, losing himself to the reassuring beat of Nelson's heart, pressed close, their breath mingling. Nelson lifted his other hand to cover Dave's on his chest, the gentle touch grounding. After a few moments he ran it up Dave's arm to cup his jaw, turning his face up for a soft kiss, then tugging the earpieces of the stethoscope gently from Dave's ears. "David. I'm alright."

"Sorry," Dave muttered again, and sighed. "Just scared."

Nelson's soft hum was understanding. "I'm alright," he said again. "Our story is just beginning. I won't leave you again." He tugged the scope from around Dave's neck, leaning away to set it on the bedside table. Then he stretched out on his side, holding a hand out to him, smiling as Dave finally stretched out beside him,

"You must be exhausted," he murmured, and Nelson let out a long breath, closing his eyes, giving the barest nod.

"Please stay." Nelson's eyes flicked to his, moving one hand up to his face, his gaze following his fingertips as he stroked them along his jaw and into his hair. "I... need to be close to you."

"I'll stay. Anything you want." It was hard to look away from the soft, peaceful adoration in Nelson's gaze. 

Nelson's fingers moved to idly stroke his hair off of his forehead, a slow, exploratory caress. When he leaned closer Dave didn't try to stop of him, meeting his lips with his own, soft and sweet. "Thank you for not letting me push you away." Nelson's voice was a soft thrum against his mouth, another soft kiss, fingers sliding to cup the back of his skull, stroking down to the nape of his neck.

"I needed you too," Dave replied, and felt Nelson's lips stretch into a smile against his.

Despite his exhaustion, Nelson showed no sign of wanting to sleep, pressing another kiss to his mouth, slow and sweet. He gave a soft, happy hum as Dave let his hand rest on his hip.

This is what he needed, Dave realized as he returned those sweet, slow kisses. Just to be close, to reassure himself with the warmth of his body. To give in to this slow, gentle affection, melting into him, quieting his thoughts and giving himself over to the intimacy of the act. The soft build of desire that followed was secondary to the simple reassurance of Nelson's body in his arms. Warm. Alive.

He stroked small circles on Nelson's hipbone, smiling at his friend's soft, approving hum, then stroking gently up his side, feeling the rise and fall of his chest. It felt good, when Nelson mirrored his touch, finding the bottom of his shirt to tease his fingers up underneath, up his side and tracing the bumps of his ribs. Even when Nelson's hips finally slotted up against his the craving of his body was far overshadowed by the deep, thrumming satisfaction of just being close to him. Stroking around Nelson's waist, anchoring himself with one hand at the small of his back and echoing Nelson's soft sigh of satisfaction as his hips rocked against Dave's.

"Don't let anything change tomorrow," he murmured, and Dave couldn't help but chuckle softly.

"But eveything's changed already, hasn't it? I have. You, us...." He let his tongue dip between Nelson's lips, feeling a rush of desire as they parted eagerly with a soft groan.

"I mean this," Nelson returned, when he could draw breath again. "Stay like this. Don't have to tell anyone if you don't want. But I can't go back to the way things were. Can't go back to pretending."

"How could I bear to leave you?" Dave pressed a soft kiss to his lips, his jaw, nuzzling his cheek. Gently dropping a kiss to the bruised skin beside his stitched up eye. Feeling more warmth and love than he'd ever thought it possible for him to feel.

Then he gave in to the temptation of Nelson's lips again, reveling in the easy pleasure of his kisses. How real it felt to be with him, fingers stroking circles on the small of his back. How natural it was to move with him, the slow, gradual rock of their hips, pleasure blossoming at the drag of Nelson's cock against his own.

The soft, pleased sounds from Nelson's throat added to that satisfaction, his fingers slowly teasing, exploring Dave's chest, pushing his shirt up around his armpits. His palm pressed flat to Dave's stomach, stroking down, his fingers just brushing against the line of his cock where it tented his jeans. Nelson's soft whimper. "David... please let me...."

How could he say no? It only took Nelson a moment to fumble his jeans undone, sliding his hand into Dave's boxers like it belonged there. His breath sighed pleasure against Dave's lips as he took him in hand. He pressed Dave's cock against his stomach, stroking with the slow rock of his hips, the head of Dave's cock rubbing slick against his palm. It felt warm and so, so good, and for a moment Dave could only react, fingers digging into Nelson's back, a low, keening moan escaping his throat.

He pulled himself together long enough to pull Nelson's scrubs untied, feeling clumsy and aggravated in the fumbling moments that it took for the knot to give. Then his fingers were around Nelson's cock, feeling a thrill of arousal at how hard he was, at the slick wetness of his arousal. At Nelson's shuddering gasp and the way his hips stuttered up against Dave's hand.

Nothing existed except Nelson, except mirroring his touch, rocking with him. Losing himself to the pleasure of the shift of their bodies, eyes closed. Breathing in the ragged gasps of his breath. He was almost too exhausted for this, but desire made his heart pound against his eardrums, and he couldn't imagine stopping. All he needed was this, the warm drag of Nelson's fingers over the shaft of his cock, the intoxicating satisfaction of his lover's pleasure. This closeness, this reassuring warmth.

Nelson's free hand, trapped between them, dug into his shoulder, his breath shuddering. Dave's name a keening, needy whine on Nelson's lips, and Dave's pleasure crested at nothing more than that, orgasm blissfully clouding all his other senses. He felt Nelson's hips buck up into his fingers, stuttering, felt the slick warmth of his climax, and a whisper of thought crossed his mind. 

Everything he'd endured had been worth it, for bringing them to this.

Dave listened to Nelson's breath calm as he caught his own. He felt too good to move, to interrupt the joy and satisfaction of the moment with words. It would be so easy just to stay like this for the rest of the night, breathing in Nelson's breath. Reveling in this closeness.

Then Nelson's breath deepened to a soft but definite snore, and laughter bubbled from Dave's lips before he could stop it.

Nelson gave a soft, disgruntled noise, closing his fingers around Dave's softening cock again. "Don't move."

"Let me get us cleaned up." Dave pressed a soft kiss to his mouth, extracting himself from his grasp. Taking care of Nelson made him feel an overwhelming, protective fondness, and he let Nelson tug him back down into bed afterwards, curling against Dave's chest with a soft, satisfied hum.

"Stay. Sleep here."

Dave stroked his fingers through his hair. "You sleep. I'll make sure you're all right."

"I'd make a joke about keeping you up all night if I weren't so tired," Nelson mumbled into his chest, and Dave chuckled softly and pressed a kiss to his hair.

He sat up long enough to lean over him and turn on the heart rate monitor. Nelson gave a soft, disgruntled noise, wrinkling his nose as he curled back up against him. But Dave found the soft beep of the monitor grounding. Reassuring, as Nelson drifted off to sleep in his embrace.

There was really no telling all the other ways that this might change them. What they'd done, the demons they'd faced. But he could face it, with Nelson in his arms. Dave felt a calmness come over him, finally, heart at peace like it hadn't been in a long, long time. He smiled, and kissed Nelson's hair again. He'd wanted nothing more than to take care of him after their ordeal, but he can't help but think that Nelson had unintentionally done far, far more for him.

Dave could live with that.

~~~~


End file.
